Image by ppreacher | by NCND 2.0 CC
I don’t know what I did this week, but it seems to have worked.
The last time I reached this point, I posted this. I am yet again back at the point where I don’t feel bad about having those Silver 7™s in my possession, but more to the point:
I NO LONGER WEIGH 400lbs AGAIN!
I know it’s 1lb under – I weighed in at 399lbs – but it’s still no longer 400lbs.
And I hope this is the last time I ever have to say that. I will not gain weight next week. I will not gain weight to the point where I have a 4– as my weight in pounds.
I am sick of being fat. I am sick of being unhealthy. I am sick of the sciatica.
I am sick of being sick.
I am done with being unemployed. I am through with being single. I am done with being The Fat Girl.
It takes a special kind of a person to be a Fatso. It’s taken me years to perfect the craft. Years of self-deprecation, years of honing my trade.
I am through.
I am never going to weigh 400lbs again.
I don’t care if I gain little bits along the weigh, but I swear, from here-on down, I will never again let myself get this big. I know how hard it is to be this big – and bigger, more to the point, and let me tell you guys, it is not fun.
I know that most of you that read this are going to be on weight loss journeys of your own, so you know, too, how horrible it is to be heavy, to feel gross and fat and disgusting.
It is. It really is. It’s sweat in places you didn’t know you could sweat. It’s not being able to scratch itches in the middle of your back. It’s not being able to find a bra to fit you.
It’s not being able to find a great dress to wear to your sister’s wedding because you’re a fucking beached whale. It’s not really wanting to be in the photos because she is going to be beautiful and slim and you are three times her size and you don’t want that to be permanently ingrained in her wedding album.
It’s not being able to walk to the gym, which is literally down the road because it hurts too much.
It’s not being able to stand up for 5 minutes to grill bacon. It’s having to sit down until it’s done because your hip hurts too much.
It’s being turned down for job after job after job because of your size.
I am through. I’m done.
My first goal is my 5%, which is 7lbs away, at 28st. I should have hit it already, but you’ve seen how the past few months have been. I will hit it within the next three week.
Then, 26st 8lb for my 10%. And then we’ll see from there.
It’s not so scary, now.
I’m not so sure it ever was, you guys. I just got a little lost is all.
400lbs: see ya. Never gonna be ya. Let the door hit you on the big, fat ass on the way out.
300lbs: I’ll see you sooner than you think.Let's get social: