babble, exercise, fitness, non-scale victory, photos, story of my life, walking

In Which I’ve Completed My Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games 2016 3-Mile Walk

Feeling generous and want to donate to my Sport Relief Swimathon? You can do that here!: Want to donate to my 3-mile Sport Relief walk? You can do that here:

FATGIRLslim | Sainsbury's Sport Relief Games Mile: Bling rear view

Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games 2016 Mile: I DIDN’T PANIC THIS TIME

While I still went to bed at a reasonably good time last night… by which I mean I was in bed before 10pm, but that’s mostly because I was bloody well exhausted… it wasn’t because I was nervous, and that’s unusual, because I actually thought I’d be more worried about the 3-miler than swimming the 1.5km, mostly because of the difference in distances.

Apparently not. Mostly, I was just worried about the fact that the stuff told you to get there half an hour before starting time to warm up and all.

Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games 2016 Mile: THE WAITING/STARTING LINE

FATGIRLslim | Sainsbury's Sport Relief Games Mile: The Starting Line

I should have taken note of the fact that South Lanarkshire Leisure & Culture couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery, as was evident from yesterday’s cock-up of trying to organise a swim in a swimming pool and failing miserably: the event still managed to start ten or fifteen minutes late, because despite everyone being told to turn up 30 minutes before starting time, they still didn’t inflate the bloody starting line until five minutes before we were actually due to start. Then they had a dance troupe(?! Like… why? Is that a normal thing?) and the compère got us to line up with the 6-milers in front, the 3-milers in the middle, and the 1-milers at the back.

As Dad pointed out, the longest-distances should have surely been at the back, as they’d have been pacing themselves? The 1-milers would have been going fastest, as they were going around only once.

FATGIRLslim | Sainsbury's Sport Relief Games Mile: The Starting Line
The starting line, with everyone assembled and the dance troupe doing a bit of a show.

Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games 2016 Mile: THE COURSE

So, you ought to keep in mind what I said about SLLC not being able to organise a piss-up in a brewery until the end of the post. It’s IMPORTANT.

The course was easy enough, relatively speaking: three times around The Palace Grounds Sports Centre/Hamilton Mausoleum park or whatever it’s called. I honestly have no idea what that area’s actually called. It includes the five-a-side pitches and a big grassy area next to the Mausoleum – which I’ve not yet been in to, despite living in Hamilton for six years now; seven this summer.

FATGIRLslim | Sainsbury's Sport Relief Games Mile: The Palace Grounds on Ostara - glorious!

This was the kind of weather we were blessed with, although that’s not exactly shocking, given it’s the first day of spring today. But it was funny to see people getting ready to run/walk/jog, wearing winter hats and jackets and I had my not-even-heavy-duty-hoodie off before the event had started. Kept my hat on, though, because otherwise I may have been blinded by that big yellow thing in the sky. Not quite sure that it was. If someone finds out, feel free to inform me.

Despite pacing back and forward, I obviously didn’t do any proper warming up, because within the first half-mile, my calf muscles were killing me. More fool me. Goes to show the difference between that walking pace, which raises my heart rate, and my standard strolling-through-town-at-a-snail’s-pace, pace.

Anyway. The first lap and a half were fine. Then it started to get painful: legs and everywhere else, too. Mind you, I’m already fully doped up on all my painkillers, PLUS two of my anti-spasmodics because I don’t want my back spasming in the middle of this, or near the end of it, PLUS a lidocaine patch.

I shouldn’t have been able to feel someone hitting my spine with a sledgehammer, to be honest. And yet, there was pain.

I still managed to make it to the end of the damn thing without getting my walking stick out, because I’m a damn stubborn-headed fool of an Aries. We’ll see how I fare tomorrow. If you see me on Twitter crying about how I should have used my stick, feel free to @ me and laugh.

Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games 2016 Mile: THE FINISH LINE

The last time I ever did something like this, I believe I was in high school, and we used to walk “The Cut” – which, looking at that guide, wow, did we really walk that whole distance, just over 7 miles?! Dad’s saying he’s pretty sure we never did. I’m pretty sure I never COULD. – and when we were done, I had the same sense of elation, that, “YES, I’M DONE, I CAN GET OFF MY FEET NOW!” sense of joy.


That, coupled with the thrill of having also done something decent with this “useless” body of mine, which is apparently not so useless at all if I put my mind to it, is kind of wonderful. Admittedly, being able to float about for a minute or so in the pool yesterday was better because there was the water holding me up, but then I had to haul myself out of the pool, and ugh. Today I got my bling, and a bottle of water, and I toddled over to Mum and Dad, and stood and soaked up the sun for a couple of minutes before we wandered back to the car.

FATGIRLslim | Sainsbury's Sport Relief Games Mile: Bling front view

The back of both of the medals I got say the same thing:


I really kinda did.

Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games 2016 Mile: NOT QUITE THREE MILES DAMNIT

However, you know how I said SLLC couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery?

When I was doing my walk, I was tracking it with MapMyWalk – and FitBit – and MMW was telling me I was only at 1 mile, about halfway through my second mile.

“Odd,” I thought. But then, it’s possible that my GPS was off. “I’ll check it when I get home. I can map the route on Google Maps.”


The route which would have made up a mile is marked out in dotted blue.

The route we took starts at the starting point, and then deviates in the middle, following the giant red arrow.

It shaved about 0.6 miles off of my 3-mile route… which was 0.2 miles for the 1-milers… and 1.2 miles for the 6-milers.

Piss-up. Brewery. Etcetera.