I don’t think I mentioned that I bought a bike more than a month ago. It’s beautiful. It fits my inside leg measurement and crazy-tall lady height, unlike the last bike we picked up from Freecycle that gave me the Lion Mauling. I still haven’t actually used it, though – I’ve got it all set up and ready to go. It’s just sitting outside, covered in its waterproof sheet.
So what’s the problem?
To put it bluntly… fear. Fear is the problem. When I took it to the back patio to set the saddle up to the correct height, I sat up in it and tried to balance, and oh god. You know how they say that “it’s like riding a bike”, when they mean that you never really forget how to do something? And that it’s all muscle memory and stuff?
I’m pretty sure I know how to ride a bike, because I had one when I was a kid, and I rode one for years in Spinning class, but that was stationary. And definitely not liable to tip to either side and throw me off. And I absolutely didn’t have to wear a helmet, kneepads, elbow pads and gloves to make sure that if it did that I didn’t scrape myself down to the bone.
(Yes, I bought all of the safety equipment. I also bought a pair of quad skates that I still haven’t actually used yet, because I need to get on my bike to go to the skate park where there [hopefully] won’t be huge cracks in the floor for me to catch myself on, and do aforementioned scraping myself to the bone, falling over, looking like an idiot, and having all my flab bouncing… and causing a 9.9 Richter scale earthquake on the other side of the earth due to the butterfly effect when I land. YOU SEE MY QUANDARY?!)
But what I do have is the Powerfly that I had on my other bike, that I had set up in my flat. It’s the thing you attach to the back pedal and it essentially turns your bike into a stationary bike. So I’m going to do that. I’m going to set my bike up out back with the Powerfly, and I’m going to use it like a set of stabilisers – as well as a good way to get some exercise in – until I lose a little weight or get a little fitter, whichever happens first – and I get used to the bike and how it feels and until I lose the goddamn fear of being on a bike that’s not completely supported by a frame.
Otherwise I’m never gonna use it. And I don’t want that to happen. It’s a beautiful bike. It deserves to be used. And I can use it to get down to the gym and back. And I can use it to get down to the woods and back. And I can use it to just get out of the house for a while. Headphones on, wind in my face, legs pumping. It won’t be Spinning, but it’ll be something.
And then, eventually, Spinning again.
For right now, however, I’ve got to learn how to ride a bike again.
It can’t be that hard, right? It’s just like riding a bike.