I kept on meaning to make a post during the week about how good a week I’ve had – I went to the gym, I went back to spinning (and took three days to recover from it, admittedly, but I’m still back at spinning!) – and things have just taken over a little bit and I haven’t managed to do it.
So when I woke up before my alarm went off this morning, and I had a shower, and I went down to see my Aunty Helen and my Granny and Granda, I thought: I’ll write it when I get home.
And then I was in the car on the way down there and my stomach started cramping. I thought I was getting my period, but then it got worse, and I was like, “Oh, no. I need to go.”
From hereon in, please expect some TMI!
Luckily, we were stopping at a restaurant for breakfast – it was a terrible breakfast – but when I went to the bathroom, I barely went.
Mum didn’t eat anything, because it was all Fried Stuff On Rolls (brioche buns, even, but they didn’t tell us about that before serving it up) and so we stopped in at another place in Greenock, and it must have taken us twenty minutes, twenty-five minutes to get from the place in Langbank to the place in Greenock, and in that time, I was almost crying from the pain in my gut.
Mum and Dad got a table. I went to the bathroom… which was in a different place than it used to be. Thanks, Old Bank Bar. Almost caused me to have an accident!
I spent the entire time in the bathroom. Mum ordered food, got served food, and ate food. I was in the bathroom so long that the automatic lights went out, and Mum came in to check that I hadn’t passed out. (I almost did at one point.)
I pooped seven times, full-size. And then everything was liquid. I didn’t think that the human body could hold so much poo, but apparently it can. I didn’t think I’d eaten that much food, but if I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I went #2.
I was crying in the bathroom stall from the pain in my stomach. I’m currently still in pain. My Aunty Geraldine gave me two Imodium – meant to stop diarrhea – and it didn’t help. Everything is still liquid.
All I can be thankful for is that it’s not coming out of the other end, too.
So much for my good week. If I’m still like this tomorrow, I’ll be cancelling Tuesday night’s spin, because I won’t have any energy, because I won’t be eating anything tomorrow, except maybe toast, because it’ll just be running through me and hurting on the way.
I feel like my stomach’s eating itself up and coming out the other end.
I know it’s got to have been something I’ve eaten, because something on a less vigorous scale than this has happened before, when I ate a slightly dodgy cold cut, and I had some corned beef yesterday that had been opened a few days (sealed in a sandwich bag) but could have been on the turn.
Now I’m all shivering and stomach’s aching and my gut’s churning and I keep running to the bathroom every 5 minutes but HOW CAN THERE POSSIBLY BE ANYTHING LEFT?
I only ate half a portion of fries from McDonald’s, and drank a milkshake because my stomach was all sick-feeling – and I know some people say that dairy products are bad for when you’re feeling sick, but a glass of milk or a bowl of ice cream helps calm my stomach down. Especially if eaten/drunk/sipped slowly.
And now through all this TMI, I’ve gone to the bathroom twice, and haven’t stopped shivering.
I hate you, body. I’m going to bed.