In Which Fatso Turns Thirty

I know this may be shocking to some people, but I turned thirty on my thirtieth birthday on Friday.

Mum and Dad took me out to Chiquitos for lunch, since Dad was working backshift (3pm-midnight). They’ve changed their menu, which my big sister warned me about, and I was ready to walk out of the restaurant and go somewhere else for food, because, to be honest, there’s very little on the menu I’d actually eat (and the prices are RIDICULOUS). Then I noticed that they have their chimichangas as a “Winter Warmer” special. It used to just be on their MENU, but now it’s a SPECIAL?!

Whatever. BBQ pulled pork chimichanga for lunch. You get TWO, and one did me for lunch. I took the other one home, and it did me for DINNER, too.

Mum bought me a chocolate birthday cake from ASDA, and when I checked it out on MyFitnessPal, this cake, which is supposed to serve 18 (Mum and I both said, “18 what?” Mum suggested 18 midgets, or whatever the politically correct term is.) gave us… 10 servings. I got 4, Mum got 2, Dad got 2 and Greg got 2. It worked out at about 2600 calories for my four servings. Can you imagine, even just for 1 serving, for a kid? It’s got to be about 400 or so calories.

But my presents were awesome. My little sister made me custom Kingdom Hearts-inspired jewellery and bought me a Kingdom Hearts II keychain. My big sister bought me Pan’s Labyrinth on Blu-Ray and a ticket to Eddie Izzard’s Force Majeur tour in Glasgow. And Mum and Dad are getting me Rise of The Guardians on Blu-Ray (yes, I turned 30 years old, and I asked for what’s essentially a children’s animated movie, shush. Everyone should watch it and BELIEVE.), some crochet stuff so I can keep all of my stuff together, and a LASER HAIR-REMOVAL KIT.

This probably doesn’t seem like that good a present, but I’ve been dealing with seriously bad facial hair for years now. I’m essentially growing a beard, slowly but surely. And Mum and Dad bought me a laser hair-removal kit so that I can use it to try to get rid of, or at least diminish the hair on my jaw and chin. And my mutant leg. And if I wanted to, I could probably just use it to stop the hair growth on my legs and underarms.

It was awesome. I love my family.

My boyfriend also bought me this awesome game on the Playstation Network called “Journey”. I’m still stunned at how far gaming has come, considering I started out gaming on a Spectrum ZX or something like that, when I was… 4 or 5? Younger? My first handheld thing was a Legend of Zelda self-contained handheld when I was about maybe 8 or 9.

I’m just.


I turned 30 years old, and nothing’s changed.

I’m just… 30.

And I’m going to make sure that this is my year.

5 thoughts on “In Which Fatso Turns Thirty”

    1. Thank you! 😀 Much appreciated. I was so worried I'd just spend the day in a haze of, "OH GOD I'M 30!" that I'd ruin it for myself, but mostly it was a case of, "OH GOD I'M THIRTY." once at lunch, and then, "HAHAHAHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!" for the rest of the day.

  1. Happy birthday, you! It's awesome to hear you've had such a good birthday. And I would have been thrilled to get that movie! I was so sad I didn't get to see it at the cinema.

    1. Thanks, Astrid! I honestly didn't hear about it until my little sister clued me into it. It's BRILLIANT, too. I'm so glad I'm getting it on Blu-Ray because now I can watch it in AWESOME AMAZING SPECTACULAR GRAPHICS… on my tiny 15" TV. XD

      I need a job so badly. *laughs*

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