So, after the whole thing with the newspaper articles, I was excited to hear that a national magazine wanted to run my story. A little different to what the newspapers had run, though – they wanted to focus on my food addiction and binge eating; the things that had made me fat, instead of my current weight loss, etc.
Binge eating disorder has only recently been accepted as a formal diagnosis for the DSM-5, due for publication in 2013; binge eating disorder is actually something that’s pretty difficult to live with. Imagine, if you can, being a drug addict. Always wanting that next hit, that next high.
That’s what binge-eating disorder is, except replacing the drug of choice with food.
Food has taken over my life. When I’m not eating, I’m thinking about eating. I’m thinking about what I should cook, how I should cook it. How long a big piece of meat I’ve done in the slow cooker will last me if I only eat it on a sandwich or a wrap for my meals.
If I have everything in the house to make pancakes, should I want pancakes (no; I don’t keep sugar in the house anymore, but I suppose I could make them with sweetener if I was desperate); things like that.
It was something I’d talked to Jen from Pressteam, who wrote my story for the newspapers, about; she’d passed the information on to Gemma from love it! magazine, and that’s what the story is: starting at my last few days at college in 2006, back to my childhood, through to Swords in Ireland where I got up to 32st 1lb, and through to here, where I’m trying to cope with just not eating myself to death.
I’ve noticed that every time there’s a story on the Daily Mail website about any overweight person – anybody over 35st, I think – they equate them with Georgia Davis, who is currently getting better in hospital (and is apparently going to head back to the weight loss camp she previously attended in America, funded by her family; best of luck, Georgia!). It’s a hideous thing for the press to do.
I saw my article and I worried that I’d end up the same way; I’ve made this post before.
I’m still worried about eating myself to death. Thing #one million I need to talk to my psychiatrist about.
Since the magazine is still in circulation, I won’t be uploading it here for a while, but I will post the front page for you. Because I am on the front page, dear god almighty.