babble, walking

In Which Fatso Doesn’t Get It

For the entirety of this post, I’m probably going to be using bad language. I apologise in advance.

I was walking home tonight, and I stopped at a corner. There was one car coming towards me, and cars here are notorious for turning without indicating.

Imagine my terror when the car not only swerved towards me, but then passed me with the passenger’s side window down and the driver leaning over his female passenger, shouting something out of the window at me.

I have no idea what he was yelling at me, but I’m pretty sure it was going to be some – what he assumed would be a hilariously witty – comment about fat girls, prostitutes and street corners, but since I was listening to Adele’s Someone Like You as loud as my iPod could play it at the time, I’ll never know.

I also, unfortunately, had no access to my phone at the time, so I couldn’t take a photo of his license plate so I could call the police and report his fucking ass.

It is, also unfortunately, not an isolated incident. It’s happened at least twice before, but not like that.

When I’m walking home after Spinning, it tends to be late at night. There aren’t many other people around at that time of night; I’m usually the only one on the pavement, walking home.

The first time it happened, a car on the other side of the road slowed down and honked his horn at me. Again, I was listening to my iPod, and only noticed when the music dipped down a little. He was looking at me as he passed by, slowly, in a 30mph zone.

I think that was the first night I’d ever walked to my flat. It fucking terrified me, and it didn’t help that the lights up to the back entrance to my flat were all out.

The second time, it was someone on the same side of the road as me, going in the opposite direction. I was walking home, wearing my cropped black tracksuit pants, as I usually am when I’m going home from the gym. My music was on an instrumental track; my phone was in my bag. Still no way to take a photo of the fucker’s license plate.

At least that guy didn’t think it was acceptable to slow down and scare a woman, alone on the road at night, by honking his fucking horn at her.

I don’t get why these men – and I use the term lightly; I don’t think they’re human, let alone male – think this is acceptable behaviour. These are probably the kind of men who think that rape is acceptable.

These men think it is acceptable to honk their horns – after 7pm at night, no less – at a woman alone on the road. This shouldn’t be acceptable at any time of the day, let alone at night.

I’m under no illusions: it’s because I’m fat. They’re trying to fat-shame me. Mostly, what they’re doing is scaring me. They’re making me more conscious of my surroundings when I’m out. I’m looking over my shoulder when I’m going home. I make sure nobody’s behind me as I make my way to the front door of the apartment block.

If someone passes me in the opposite direction, I look over my shoulder to make sure they continue to walk, and aren’t going to attack me from behind.

These men, in their cars, with their horns, are scaring me.

These men are fucking assholes.

It is not acceptable behaviour to honk your horn at a woman at any time of the day, whether she is alone, or with friends. It is not acceptable behaviour to slow down and yell shit out of your window at people you don’t know. It is not acceptable behaviour to be misogynistic scum.

I need to walk, to get where I want. There isn’t always a bus available, and I don’t always have the funds to pay for a bus every time, either.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m fucking inviting this behaviour.

I’m fucking walking home.

THAT IS ALL.

So don’t fucking honk your horn at me. Because if I ever get the chance, I will take a fucking picture of your license plate, and I will report you for fucking harassment, you fucking pieces of shit.

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2 thoughts on “In Which Fatso Doesn’t Get It”

  1. This is disgusting! You're right, no one should honk a horn at a woman at any time, whether to shame or to 'appreciate' someone's physical appearance. At night is the worst time as well! It says more about him than you. I hope you'll push past this intimidation and remember that you have, and still are, working SO hard. Give him the finger and move on 🙂 xx

    1. Fingers crossed that I keep my courage, because it could easily scare me enough to stay indoors! But I hope I stick with the walking thing. It gives me time to space out – when I'm not being honked at 🙁 – after a workout. Some boys are just idiots, I think, and there seems to be a larger concentration of the idiots around here.

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