babble, mental health, randomosity, story of my life

The Problem With Blogging For More Than A Decade…

…is that eventually, you’re bound to run out of ideas of what to say. I mean, I’ve been blogging via FATGIRLslim since 2004, and a lot has changed since then. Blogging is not like it used to be.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not quitting, and if I ever did decide to stop blogging, forever, then I’d find somewhere that I could archive my Adventures In Weight Loss.

I’m still trying to decide what I want to do in terms of content here at FATGIRLslim. Do I accept the bazillion offers of guest posts that keep showing up in my inbox? Do I continue to babble about attempting to lose weight while fighting my urge to binge eat and eat entire boxes of food in secret so nobody knows how bad it is?

What I’d love to do is to really examine my relationship with food, which is a terrible one. I’d like to know why I binge eat, and why I eat a lot in secret – beyond the “so people don’t see me consuming 15,000 in a sitting”, I mean – and I’d like to start mending that relationship with food.

But, to be honest, I don’t even know where to start. My local health service doesn’t recognise binge eating and food addiction as real things, and the only clinic that deals with eating disorders only helps those suffering from anorexia or bulimia.

So what am I going to do?

I don’t know.

I’ve signed up for Sport Relief again for 2018 – I completed a 1 mile swim and a 3 mile walk in 2016, and was chuffed to raise as much as I did – so I’ve got something to train for.

I’m back at Weight Watchers, although I had to have my cat euthanised in my second or third week and have basically been eating to numb my grief since then (R.I.P. my darling Twiglet), and really need to start tracking again and focusing on what I’m eating.

Other than that…? I’m tempted to go fully digital, and just vlog on the FATGIRLslim YouTube Channel instead of writing. But I’m not sure how well that would go, considering bad my habit is of babbling while I’m vlogging and diverging from the point.

I’ll figure something out. If anyone has any suggestions about what they’d like to see as far as updates go, please feel free to let me know!

As of now: I’m still alive, but I’m slowly creeping my way back to my all-time high weight again. Everything (and I do mean EVERYTHING) hurts. Painkillers barely help. And college is eating my life, but at least it gets me out of the house.

I hope y’all are doing well, and I’m sorry there are such huge gaps between posts. Hopefully I’ll decide what I’m doing soon, and remedy that. 🙂