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In Which I’m Trying To Get Things Back On Track

I think we’re all really aware of the fact that it’s pretty easy for me to let things get out of hand. It’s the problem with having an addictive personality – you can use it as an excuse too easily. I don’t want to use it as an excuse for anything, not really, but sometimes it just happens, and then it becomes a reason, which is even worse.

You’d think that it’d be a good thing, being of the kind of mind that can become addicted to something easily but when you consider that this includes things like food and sex and video games and alcohol and reading stupid articles on Buzzfeed, or scrolling on tumblr every day, then you kind of get the impression that an addictive personality’s more harmful than good.

And it really is. It’s only good when you apply it to good things.

I’m trying my hardest to overcome anything that seems like my addictive personality’s having a hand in it. If I find myself sitting doing anything for more than a few hours at a time, I do something else – I’ve actually been getting up from Final Fantasy XIV lately, to go downstairs and eat my food instead of eating it while playing, or going downstairs to crochet for a while to break up hours of play. When Zero was alive, I’d play all day, because he and Apple’d be on first thing in [my] morning, then Zero would work during my afternoon and evening – Apple would sleep, because he work(ed) graveyard shifts – during which time the rest of my friends would be on. Bob would get home at 9pm-ish, I’d stay on until I got tired. Lather, rinse, repeat. Classwork got done at weekends, or I’d force myself to do it in an hour or two here and there during the week. Note the words, “force myself”. That’s how I know there was an addiction working out there.

So now I’m trying to take time out, and sit downstairs and work on stuff. I’m crocheting myself a winter and summer dress in the same basic pattern, but with edits.

FATGIRLslim | In Which I'm Trying To Get Things Back On Track
It’ll eventually be just below knee-length, and have cap sleeves. The summer version will be done in less chunky yarn, a less open pattern, and will be the same length: just below knee-length. The summer version’s being done in dusky pink.

Things like that also help with cravings. It keeps my mind off food, especially because it keeps my hands busy.

Another way I’m trying to get myself back on track?

I ordered a copy of the Weight Watchers 2015 ProPoints book, the one that I never actually managed to get from meetings last year. I’m gonna see if counting ProPoints while doing low carb or high carb or 5:2 or any of those things works, because I know that straight-up ProPoints didn’t work. But I know that South Beach and things like that work for me. Ketosis works for my body. So it’ll be interesting to see how/if it works with a Weight Watchers angle. If it doesn’t work, then it’ll be easy enough to just relist it – they’re selling like hotcakes, anyway.

But I’m at that point again where I’m thinking of chopping off limbs to reduce overall weight.

Only problem is, I can’t do much exercise or stuff minus a limb.

And it’d have to be a leg. I can’t operate a PS4 controller or a keyboard very well with only one arm…

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5 thoughts on “In Which I’m Trying To Get Things Back On Track”

  1. Good on you! That addictive personality can unfortunately be part of certain illnesses, but it’s good that you’ve found coping mechanisms. <3 you.

  2. I’m on day 8 of Optifast Intensive phase and hopefully I’m in ketosis. This is yet another diet however I am feeling the same as I did when I quit smoking for the final time 3 years ago; so fed up with it and there is absolutely no going back. My biggest vice was wine then eating crap after drinking so I’ve got an app on my phone now called Quit That! Which counts the time since you quit and adds up the money you save, I love it cos I don’t want to break chain!
    How are you feeling on weight watchers? Is there any particular habit that always tends to trip you up?

    1. Hahaha, this is the problem with answering comments backwards. This would be the app that I asked about! Excellent. 🙂

      Weight Watchers hasn’t actually been attempted again, yet. I have the stuff, but I haven’t started tracking or anything yet… still deciding if I want to attempt doing a Low Carb WW or what. I know that low carb works for me (it’s why South Beach works! Low calorie + low carb = weight loss for me) but I’m so disillusioned by tracking my food that I’m not sure that I’d be happy with it.

      And yes. I’m lazy. Exceptionally lazy. And I don’t mean, I sleep all day and do nothing. I mean, I sometimes just plain can’t be bothered doing a thing. If I’ve tracked quite a lot of my food one day then I’ll guess at the content of something and go, “Eh, I’m sure I’ve got enough for that,” only to find three days later that I didn’t.

      Or just get fed up with tracking altogether.

      It honestly isn’t helped by the chronic pain, physical exhaustion from the chronic pain, exhaustion from constant headaches (possibly not helped by the fact that I’ve had twitching facial nerves since January in my upper cheeks and upper and lower eyelids) and general depression.

      I’m just very basically BLAH about everything right now. It’s not a good place to be in to try and lose weight. XD;

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