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In Which Fatso Is In Pain. Again.

Another week, another quiet week, blog-wise. I could make excuses, but I’m not gonna. There’s not a lot going on.

My collarbone is still sore, and I’ve still got that pulled muscle in my left arm, and neither seem to be getting much better, to be perfectly honest. I don’t know what to do. My doctor’s awesome, but he just keeps telling me: take my painkillers. Rest my arms.

But I use my arms for things like turning over in bed. I can’t turn over without pushing myself up, because I’m really fat. I use my left arm, sometimes, to pull myself up the stairs, because sometimes it’s difficult to get up the stairs without hauling myself up, because I’m really fat.

Other than after my Weight Watchers class, and my Sunday morning Spinning class, I’ve pretty much not been to the gym in about three weeks, and I haven’t been swimming in as long because I can’t swim without using my arms, and if I use my arms, I’m just going to hurt myself again.

It’s insane. It’s driving me insane.

I’ve got a health check for Up For It?, South Lanarkshire’s health and lifestyle motivation project, which will hopefully get me a free gym membership (reduced attendance allowance, should cover my current attendances, however) and that’ll be kind of awesome. Angela, I think, mentioned that my SpinFit instructor, Jenni, also takes a Tuesday night class in Blantyre, and so I might look into going to that, although for the cost of it (probably £4.50 per class per week) I might be as well paying my £17.95/month membership fee. But I do like Jenni’s SpinFit class, as can be evidenced by my Spinning Tags.

But it’s something to think about.

Another way to add exercise that doesn’t involve much upper-body work at all.

After my weigh-in this week, which is going to be on TUESDAY, and not MONDAY, I’m going to take a picture of the awesome and tiny courgette currently growing on my back step. It’s awesome!

Weekly Weigh-In: August 2nd, 2010

29st

-7lb (3.18kg) – 261lbs (118.39kg) to go

So we’re back here again. Back at the original Silver 7™. This week, I went to see Inception at the cinema.

Twice.

I even ate junk both times: a wee tub of candy floss and a big bag of Maltesers, bottles of Diet Irn Bru (admittedly, the Diet Irn Bru is POINTs-free) and two bars of Mrs Tilly’s Fudge. I worked it into my POINTs for the week, but I think we should have noticed a pattern of: it doesn’t seem to matter whether I stick to my POINTs or not, my body’s going to do what it wants!

Anyway.

This week, I hurt my collarbone on my right-hand side, and pulled a muscle in my left arm. Probably from pulling myself up stairs because my sciatica is getting worse and worse and worse: I’m taking Co-Dydramol (20/500 x 2 every 6 hours) and Diclofenac (50mg three times a day) and the Co-Dydramol is lasting for maybe an hour, an hour-and-a-half at a time, which, considering how STRONG the painkiller/Codeine is, isn’t really long at all.

Add into this the additional pain, and I just feel like I’m falling apart.

I’m eating a lot of apples lately, too, because ASDA have (had? I haven’t been down in a few days) their Cripps Pinks packs on £1 instead of their usual £1.67 or £1.87 or whatever. Which is good, because I do love Cripps Pinks. I think they’re pretty much the best apples out there. And I used to buy them loose, but it’s more than £2/kg, and the bag I’m buying has 6 apples in it, and 6 loose apples is more than 1kg, so I’m saving a fair wee bit.

Other than going to the cinema, I had a quiet week. Went to the gym with my sister last Monday night after Weight Watchers, went to Spinning on Sunday, did nothing much in between. I’m trying to stay off my feet as much as possible to reduce the pain in my hip.

I feel like an 80-year-old-woman in bad health.

Weekly Weigh-In: July 26, 2010

29st 1lb (184.6kg)

-6lb (2.72kg) – 262lbs (118.84kg) to go

My quads are killing me. I’ll admit, I worked pretty hard at spinning yesterday morning and then went straight into the swimming pool afterward, but holy cow, my quads are killing me.

Jenni keeps saying, “you should feel it in your quads,” while we’re doing runs, and boy, do I ever.

I also feel it for the next day or two.

I love my spinning class so much.

ANYWAY, moving swiftly on.

I lost a pound this week! Considering that I didn’t track a single thing – I know, I know. I’m a terrible, horrible person, and it could have really backfired, but I was keeping track in my head… sort of… just not on paper – I’m pretty okay with losing a pound, really. It could have been better, but considering what I just said, it could have been a hell of a lot worse, too.

I need to go to ASDA and get in some more fruit, because I pretty much ate through 10 apples in three days because I’m having sugar cravings up the yin-yang and apples help.

(Cripps Pinks and Braeburns, OH YEAH.)

Gillian still isn’t back from holiday, so we had a stand-in leader tonight, a lovely lady called Holly, who told us her own success story. She joined Weight Watchers online last year and lost 4 or 5 stone within the year, and is now a leader.

And it’s not often I get to link to people in Weight Watchers, so here:

As a plus size model everyone loved my curves – except me…


(Holly’s Before & After)

And yes, her hair IS that short and fabulous and platinum almost-white. It was, actually, the first thing I really said: I said, “Wow, I love your hair; it’s fabulous!”

And while she was weighing me (“Somebody screwed your card up!” to which I replied, “Yeah, I had to fix my own, but I forgot about the actual members’ card.” – somebody had filled in the wrong amount lost one week and it had followed on week after week from there) she explained how she had been a hair stylist, so she knew how to do it herself.

Awesome.

Anyway, so, as I was saying, she told us her story, and it rung so true with myself: overweight from a young age, ate her feelings, moved around a lot.

(All right, we moved around, but it was always within the same areas. Somehow, it still managed to break up friendships with kids that we lived near!)

After the meeting was over, I was telling her how it felt like I wasn’t going anywhere with my weight loss, because I’ve been a member since February now and I’m still only 5lb (6lb now!) now, and it’s fluctuating so badly, and how, when I was living in Ireland, while I had my bad weeks, my not-so-bad weeks were a heck of a lot better than what I’m getting now.

What I mean is: I never got stuck at around 6lbs lost. It was closer to 4st lost, not 0.5st lost. ANYWAY.

She suggested I make a list, things I want to achieve through my weight loss, or after my weight loss, or even during my weight loss, and I thought of my Advtanges Response Card (which, by the way, got ruined during the house move) and then I thought of the Beck Diet Solution again, and maybe it’s time to pick it up again.

But rest assured, my next blog entry will have a new list, a new Advantages Response List in it.

For the minute, however, I just have to hope that I can convince my parents to run me to ASDA tomorrow so that I can get apples and soup. I’m all out of both, I think.

In Which Fatso Is Bored

It’s Saturday night.

Do you know what I imagine most “normal” 27-year-old girls are doing at 9:10pm on a “normal” Saturday night?

(Normal, in my head means: not married, no kids. Employed, living in their own place. With or without a significant other of whatever sex.)

I imagine they’re having a drink while they’re getting their make-up on. Maybe they’re already dressed, having a giggle with their friends.

What they’re not doing is sitting in on their computer playing Mafia Wars and trying to get more people to join their Mafia.

I feel like an old woman. I feel like I was never a proper teenager: I never really had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I never got kissed (until I was 20!) and I never had sex. I never went to clubs.

In fact… I pretty much did what I’m doing now, except it was a shared, family computer, and Mafia Wars didn’t exist then. If somebody else was on the computer, I’d be reading a book, doing homework, watching TV…

I feel like I never got to really be a proper 20something, either. I’ve always been so caught up in, “Oh my God I’m so fat, I can’t-” that I’ve never really done anything, which has led to me getting fatter and fatter, which has led to me sitting in my bedroom on a Saturday night with my back too sore to go out and dance, playing Mafia Wars, thinking, “Holy crap, I’m going to turn 30 in 2013,” and wondering if I’m ever going to lose weight.

Wondering if I’m ever going to have a life.

I’m sick of being bored.

I’m sick of being sick.

Weekly Weigh-In: July 20, 2010 and Sugar Doll Blogger Award

29st 2lbs

-5lb (2.27kg) – 263lbs (119.29kg) to go

I just can’t even explain what’s going on here.

I Tracked. I didn’t eat too much junk. What little junk I did eat was Pointed and included in my daily Points. I didn’t exercise as much as I’d like, okay, but I got to the gym on Monday, I went to the pool on Friday, I got to my Spinning class on Sunday.

I went over my Points on one day – Sunday – and that was covered by my Spinning exercise Points, and I’m constantly being told to eat my exercise Points, or at least some of them. I didn’t eat my gym or swimming Points, because I didn’t even calculate them, in the hopes that they’d boost my weight loss.

But that’s a gain of 3lbs this week.

By this point in the game, I should be AT LEAST a stone lighter. Two or three lighter, if I’m being hopeful.

Not 5lbs.

It’s frustrating.

I mean, I started my period last night (during the night, even, argh!) and that could, all right, account for a pound or so.

But three? THREE POUNDS?

I’m seriously starting to think about chopping off limbs here, you guys. This is getting more and more frustrating.

 



 

Now, Renée was kind enough to gift me with a Sugar Doll Blogger Award in her latest entry.

Squee, thank you! :) Not sure why I’m deserving, because I seem to be a pretty crappy weight-loss blogger, but. Thank you all the same. The thought is much appreciated, and it certainly made my day.

BUT THERE ARE RULES:

As a newly appointed Sugar Doll, I must do the following:

  1. – Thank the recipient ()

  2. – Link back to the giver ()
  3. – Reveal 10 things about me… Getting to that part, LOL. ()

So, ten things about me that y’all (hopefully) don’t know already.

Okay, so here:

  1. In the photo below, I’m twelve years old (I’m the girl on the right, in the white t-shirt and blue gym shorts). I’m about 5′ 7″ tall, in my first year of high school, and not only the tallest girl in my class, but also the tallest girl in my entire year and possibly the tallest student in my year.

     
    I’m also pretty sure I’m ON a diet, and if I’m not, I’ve already been on a diet. I thought I was fat.

     
    Let me repeat what I said: I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD.

     


     

  2. I have a pink stuffed teddy-dog, named Pinky, whom I’m had since I was (I think) two years old. He still sleeps in my bed every night, and it’s only in the past two or three years that I’ve stopped physically HOLDING him while I sleep.

     

  3. I own a king-sized bed, and I either sleep diagonally across it, or right on the edge of it.

     

  4. My hair was naturally black from birth (but both my sisters were born blonde), and is turning gray already. It’s a genetic trait inherited from both my mother AND my father. *shakes fist at them*

     

  5. I lived in Oregon for a year and three months, and had my first (sort of) boyfriend and girlfriend while I was there. I was 19 when we moved over, and 20 when we moved back.

     

  6. I have lived in approximately 16 different accommodations (houses, flats, dorms, etc), three different countries, two different continents, and one womb in my life. (Thanks for the loan of that womb, Mum. ♥)

     

  7. I used to play viola in high school. I’d love to start again, except I can’t afford to.

     

  8. My favourite movie of all time is probably Rocky Horror Picture Show, although it changes. Mum once got a phone call from my primary school head mistress asking that I please refrain from singing “Sweet Transvestite” on school property, because the other kids were asking questions, and it really wasn’t appropriate. :)

     

  9. I am a middle child: My big sister, Linda, is two years older than me, and my little sister, Lorna, is three years my junior. I am the only sister whose first name does NOT start with an ‘L’. As a bonus part to this question: my middle name is Elanor.

     

  10. My target weight is listed as 10st 5lbs. The last time I weighed 10st 5lbs, I was probably not even a teenager yet. I can’t actually remember. It may well have been around the time of that photo up there.

In Which Fatso Has Another Quiet Week

Another quiet week here at Fatso Headquarters.

This week is full of the following:

  1. Having no money.

  2. Not being able to get to the gym/swimming pool.

Dad’s not at work tomorrow, I don’t think, so I might go to the pool tomorrow night, but the main pool isn’t open, so it’ll be faffing about in the leisure pool again – here’s hoping Lorna and Matt’ll be up to coming with.

The good thing about #1 up there is that having no money means not being able to buy any junk. The most I’ve done is buy a bar of tablet, and that cost me 97p. I get money tomorrow, and I need to buy: cereal; soup; fruit; lunch meats. Need to go to the Doctor.

(Need to buy birthday cards and gifts for three people, holy crap.)

But I’m hoping that the reduced food intake will cancel out the reduced exercise. We don’t get weighed until next Tuesday, anyway: an extra day to lose weight. Monday’s the Glasgow Fair, so the hall’s closed and Gillian’s off in Cyprus, I believe she said.

Lucky for some! :)

Weekly Weigh-In: July 12, 2010

28st 13lbs

-8lb (3.63kg) – 260lbs (117.93kg) to go

See, told you the 2lbs would be gone this week! I’m glad to see another pound go with it, too.

After our weigh-in tonight, Linda and I hit the gym. Since our Weight Watchers meetings take place in Fairhill Leisure Centre, which is where my “usual” gym is, Linda figured it’d be a good idea to start going to the gym after our meeting.

Good idea!

It felt good to get back on the bike, arm bike, elliptical and do a few resistance machines. My body hates me for taking so long away from it, but it’ll love me for it later.

I have to go see my Doctor on Friday, because I’m still getting shooting pains down my right arm, and it’s started on my left arm now, too, especially when I’m turning over in bed.

I keep meaning to ask him about Qnexa, which is currently undergoing clinical trials in the USA, and since I’m already taking Topirimate for my migraines, I figured it might not hurt to add Phentermine to the mix. But I really do hate the idea of taking “diet drugs” after the quote-unquote fun I had taking Orlistat/Xenical.

ANYWAY, moving swiftly onward.

I have once more bypassed the 7lb mark, so I don’t feel bad about having at least one of those Silver 7™s on my membership card. Another two or three weeks down the line, and hopefully I’ll have earned back that second one, too.

Sooner, rather than later, one hopes.

In Which Fatso Has Fun

I think there’s a lot to be said about going swimming with someone else vs. going swimming alone.

Example:

Tuesday this week, I went swimming alone, and I did laps in the pool for 40 minutes. Great exercise, sure, but tedious. I mean, the highlight of the night was when Heart Radio played “Flashdance”.

Admittedly, I got a lot of swimming done because the pool was almost empty for some reason – and yet there was still bald-headed ignorant bastard with blue goggles who came into the pool and insisted on swimming in the exact spot that I was swimming in despite the pool being mostly empty – but it was still tedious, and slightly boring.

Tonight (or, well, last night now, hush) I went to the pool with my little sister, Lorna, and her fiancé, Matt, and we just faffed about in the leisure pool for an hour and a half, and I had a great laugh. I kept diving under the water and swimming after them and running after them and swimming through the currents and out of the currents.

We even got the chance to go to the outdoor area of the pool for a bit, despite the fact it was frickin’ freezing! But it was, as I said, a good laugh. Much more fun than just swimming backward and forwards for 40 minutes.

I’m not sure how much actual exercise I got done, but I was either treading water, chasing after them, or swimming – or at least moving – in the water the entire time, so who knows?

If I’m entirely honest, I couldn’t really care, because I had a good laugh.

I don’t have friends. It’s not often that I get to have a good laugh.

So thanks, Lorna and Matt. It was appreciated.

Weekly Weigh-In: July 5, 2010

29st 2lbs

-5lb (2.27kg) – 263lbs (119.29kg) to go

So I gained back the 2lbs that I lost last week. I’m going to blame my period, and the fact that I didn’t make it to the gym until Sunday because of aforementioned period.

Thankfully, my legs and ankles have stopped swelling to gargantuan proportions; my feet can fit back into my shoes again, and I don’t have to let my Nike trainers’ velcro straps all the way out any more. I consider this progress.

But I still gained those 2lbs, and so I’m kicking my own butt this week. I’ve gone to ASDA and bought a load of fruit to do me for the week:


(L-R): Scottish strawberries; Picota cherries; clementines; Braeburn apples and Cripps Pink apples.

I’m hoping that all the fruit will kick any sugar cravings in the nuts, because the cravings this past week were ridiculous. I gave in tonight and bought a bar of tablet, but that’s it.

Hopefully that 2lb will be gone – and hopefully another 1lb or so – by next week.

Say bye-bye!

In Which Fatso Is Bleeding To Death

I mentioned last time how I’d gotten my period.

Of course I still have my period. It feels like I have every period I haven’t had over the past year rolled into one big ball, including cramps. I am in so much pain it’s not funny; painkillers aren’t helping! Heat isn’t helping!

Of course, I know that the best thing I could do is go and do some exercise. The last time I had the sniff of a period, I went and exercised and the cramps went away like magic. I know I should go and exercise.

But to be perfectly honest, at the rate I’m bleeding out and soaking through Super Plus Tampax (current rate: 1 per 2 hours or less) I don’t want to risk being in the middle of a workout when my tampon starts to lose absorbency.

Too much information, sure, but argh, this is the crap I deal with as a woman.

I was going to go swimming, but again, there’s the problem with leakage. I don’t want to be in the middle of the pool when I suddenly start looking like I’m trying to turn the 25m pool into a literal red sea.

And it would happen to me. That’s the kind of luck I have.

So I’m going to go to the gym tomorrow and wear a towel and a tampon – belt and braces, if you will – and hope that I can get through a workout without passing out from the pain. Hopefully, by Sunday, it’ll be mostly gone.

And hopefully, by this time next month, my body will be over this whole, “Oh, you didn’t have a period for a year? HAVE TWELVE AT ONCE!” bullshit it’s pulling.

p.s. for whoever searched for “beginning yoga for fat girls”, can I suggest the book, MegaYoga, by Megan Garcia? It’s awesome. There’s also her DVD, Just My Size which is equally awesome.