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Weekly Weigh-In: July 26, 2010

29st 1lb (184.6kg)

-6lb (2.72kg) – 262lbs (118.84kg) to go

My quads are killing me. I’ll admit, I worked pretty hard at spinning yesterday morning and then went straight into the swimming pool afterward, but holy cow, my quads are killing me.

Jenni keeps saying, “you should feel it in your quads,” while we’re doing runs, and boy, do I ever.

I also feel it for the next day or two.

I love my spinning class so much.

ANYWAY, moving swiftly on.

I lost a pound this week! Considering that I didn’t track a single thing – I know, I know. I’m a terrible, horrible person, and it could have really backfired, but I was keeping track in my head… sort of… just not on paper – I’m pretty okay with losing a pound, really. It could have been better, but considering what I just said, it could have been a hell of a lot worse, too.

I need to go to ASDA and get in some more fruit, because I pretty much ate through 10 apples in three days because I’m having sugar cravings up the yin-yang and apples help.

(Cripps Pinks and Braeburns, OH YEAH.)

Gillian still isn’t back from holiday, so we had a stand-in leader tonight, a lovely lady called Holly, who told us her own success story. She joined Weight Watchers online last year and lost 4 or 5 stone within the year, and is now a leader.

And it’s not often I get to link to people in Weight Watchers, so here:

As a plus size model everyone loved my curves – except me…


(Holly’s Before & After)

And yes, her hair IS that short and fabulous and platinum almost-white. It was, actually, the first thing I really said: I said, “Wow, I love your hair; it’s fabulous!”

And while she was weighing me (“Somebody screwed your card up!” to which I replied, “Yeah, I had to fix my own, but I forgot about the actual members’ card.” – somebody had filled in the wrong amount lost one week and it had followed on week after week from there) she explained how she had been a hair stylist, so she knew how to do it herself.

Awesome.

Anyway, so, as I was saying, she told us her story, and it rung so true with myself: overweight from a young age, ate her feelings, moved around a lot.

(All right, we moved around, but it was always within the same areas. Somehow, it still managed to break up friendships with kids that we lived near!)

After the meeting was over, I was telling her how it felt like I wasn’t going anywhere with my weight loss, because I’ve been a member since February now and I’m still only 5lb (6lb now!) now, and it’s fluctuating so badly, and how, when I was living in Ireland, while I had my bad weeks, my not-so-bad weeks were a heck of a lot better than what I’m getting now.

What I mean is: I never got stuck at around 6lbs lost. It was closer to 4st lost, not 0.5st lost. ANYWAY.

She suggested I make a list, things I want to achieve through my weight loss, or after my weight loss, or even during my weight loss, and I thought of my Advtanges Response Card (which, by the way, got ruined during the house move) and then I thought of the Beck Diet Solution again, and maybe it’s time to pick it up again.

But rest assured, my next blog entry will have a new list, a new Advantages Response List in it.

For the minute, however, I just have to hope that I can convince my parents to run me to ASDA tomorrow so that I can get apples and soup. I’m all out of both, I think.

In Which Fatso Is Bored

It’s Saturday night.

Do you know what I imagine most “normal” 27-year-old girls are doing at 9:10pm on a “normal” Saturday night?

(Normal, in my head means: not married, no kids. Employed, living in their own place. With or without a significant other of whatever sex.)

I imagine they’re having a drink while they’re getting their make-up on. Maybe they’re already dressed, having a giggle with their friends.

What they’re not doing is sitting in on their computer playing Mafia Wars and trying to get more people to join their Mafia.

I feel like an old woman. I feel like I was never a proper teenager: I never really had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I never got kissed (until I was 20!) and I never had sex. I never went to clubs.

In fact… I pretty much did what I’m doing now, except it was a shared, family computer, and Mafia Wars didn’t exist then. If somebody else was on the computer, I’d be reading a book, doing homework, watching TV…

I feel like I never got to really be a proper 20something, either. I’ve always been so caught up in, “Oh my God I’m so fat, I can’t-” that I’ve never really done anything, which has led to me getting fatter and fatter, which has led to me sitting in my bedroom on a Saturday night with my back too sore to go out and dance, playing Mafia Wars, thinking, “Holy crap, I’m going to turn 30 in 2013,” and wondering if I’m ever going to lose weight.

Wondering if I’m ever going to have a life.

I’m sick of being bored.

I’m sick of being sick.

Weekly Weigh-In: July 20, 2010 and Sugar Doll Blogger Award

29st 2lbs

-5lb (2.27kg) – 263lbs (119.29kg) to go

I just can’t even explain what’s going on here.

I Tracked. I didn’t eat too much junk. What little junk I did eat was Pointed and included in my daily Points. I didn’t exercise as much as I’d like, okay, but I got to the gym on Monday, I went to the pool on Friday, I got to my Spinning class on Sunday.

I went over my Points on one day – Sunday – and that was covered by my Spinning exercise Points, and I’m constantly being told to eat my exercise Points, or at least some of them. I didn’t eat my gym or swimming Points, because I didn’t even calculate them, in the hopes that they’d boost my weight loss.

But that’s a gain of 3lbs this week.

By this point in the game, I should be AT LEAST a stone lighter. Two or three lighter, if I’m being hopeful.

Not 5lbs.

It’s frustrating.

I mean, I started my period last night (during the night, even, argh!) and that could, all right, account for a pound or so.

But three? THREE POUNDS?

I’m seriously starting to think about chopping off limbs here, you guys. This is getting more and more frustrating.

 



 

Now, Renée was kind enough to gift me with a Sugar Doll Blogger Award in her latest entry.

Squee, thank you! :) Not sure why I’m deserving, because I seem to be a pretty crappy weight-loss blogger, but. Thank you all the same. The thought is much appreciated, and it certainly made my day.

BUT THERE ARE RULES:

As a newly appointed Sugar Doll, I must do the following:

  1. – Thank the recipient ()

  2. – Link back to the giver ()
  3. – Reveal 10 things about me… Getting to that part, LOL. ()

So, ten things about me that y’all (hopefully) don’t know already.

Okay, so here:

  1. In the photo below, I’m twelve years old (I’m the girl on the right, in the white t-shirt and blue gym shorts). I’m about 5′ 7″ tall, in my first year of high school, and not only the tallest girl in my class, but also the tallest girl in my entire year and possibly the tallest student in my year.

     
    I’m also pretty sure I’m ON a diet, and if I’m not, I’ve already been on a diet. I thought I was fat.

     
    Let me repeat what I said: I WAS TWELVE YEARS OLD.

     


     

  2. I have a pink stuffed teddy-dog, named Pinky, whom I’m had since I was (I think) two years old. He still sleeps in my bed every night, and it’s only in the past two or three years that I’ve stopped physically HOLDING him while I sleep.

     

  3. I own a king-sized bed, and I either sleep diagonally across it, or right on the edge of it.

     

  4. My hair was naturally black from birth (but both my sisters were born blonde), and is turning gray already. It’s a genetic trait inherited from both my mother AND my father. *shakes fist at them*

     

  5. I lived in Oregon for a year and three months, and had my first (sort of) boyfriend and girlfriend while I was there. I was 19 when we moved over, and 20 when we moved back.

     

  6. I have lived in approximately 16 different accommodations (houses, flats, dorms, etc), three different countries, two different continents, and one womb in my life. (Thanks for the loan of that womb, Mum. ♥)

     

  7. I used to play viola in high school. I’d love to start again, except I can’t afford to.

     

  8. My favourite movie of all time is probably Rocky Horror Picture Show, although it changes. Mum once got a phone call from my primary school head mistress asking that I please refrain from singing “Sweet Transvestite” on school property, because the other kids were asking questions, and it really wasn’t appropriate. :)

     

  9. I am a middle child: My big sister, Linda, is two years older than me, and my little sister, Lorna, is three years my junior. I am the only sister whose first name does NOT start with an ‘L’. As a bonus part to this question: my middle name is Elanor.

     

  10. My target weight is listed as 10st 5lbs. The last time I weighed 10st 5lbs, I was probably not even a teenager yet. I can’t actually remember. It may well have been around the time of that photo up there.

In Which Fatso Has Another Quiet Week

Another quiet week here at Fatso Headquarters.

This week is full of the following:

  1. Having no money.

  2. Not being able to get to the gym/swimming pool.

Dad’s not at work tomorrow, I don’t think, so I might go to the pool tomorrow night, but the main pool isn’t open, so it’ll be faffing about in the leisure pool again – here’s hoping Lorna and Matt’ll be up to coming with.

The good thing about #1 up there is that having no money means not being able to buy any junk. The most I’ve done is buy a bar of tablet, and that cost me 97p. I get money tomorrow, and I need to buy: cereal; soup; fruit; lunch meats. Need to go to the Doctor.

(Need to buy birthday cards and gifts for three people, holy crap.)

But I’m hoping that the reduced food intake will cancel out the reduced exercise. We don’t get weighed until next Tuesday, anyway: an extra day to lose weight. Monday’s the Glasgow Fair, so the hall’s closed and Gillian’s off in Cyprus, I believe she said.

Lucky for some! :)

Weekly Weigh-In: July 12, 2010

28st 13lbs

-8lb (3.63kg) – 260lbs (117.93kg) to go

See, told you the 2lbs would be gone this week! I’m glad to see another pound go with it, too.

After our weigh-in tonight, Linda and I hit the gym. Since our Weight Watchers meetings take place in Fairhill Leisure Centre, which is where my “usual” gym is, Linda figured it’d be a good idea to start going to the gym after our meeting.

Good idea!

It felt good to get back on the bike, arm bike, elliptical and do a few resistance machines. My body hates me for taking so long away from it, but it’ll love me for it later.

I have to go see my Doctor on Friday, because I’m still getting shooting pains down my right arm, and it’s started on my left arm now, too, especially when I’m turning over in bed.

I keep meaning to ask him about Qnexa, which is currently undergoing clinical trials in the USA, and since I’m already taking Topirimate for my migraines, I figured it might not hurt to add Phentermine to the mix. But I really do hate the idea of taking “diet drugs” after the quote-unquote fun I had taking Orlistat/Xenical.

ANYWAY, moving swiftly onward.

I have once more bypassed the 7lb mark, so I don’t feel bad about having at least one of those Silver 7™s on my membership card. Another two or three weeks down the line, and hopefully I’ll have earned back that second one, too.

Sooner, rather than later, one hopes.

In Which Fatso Has Fun

I think there’s a lot to be said about going swimming with someone else vs. going swimming alone.

Example:

Tuesday this week, I went swimming alone, and I did laps in the pool for 40 minutes. Great exercise, sure, but tedious. I mean, the highlight of the night was when Heart Radio played “Flashdance”.

Admittedly, I got a lot of swimming done because the pool was almost empty for some reason – and yet there was still bald-headed ignorant bastard with blue goggles who came into the pool and insisted on swimming in the exact spot that I was swimming in despite the pool being mostly empty – but it was still tedious, and slightly boring.

Tonight (or, well, last night now, hush) I went to the pool with my little sister, Lorna, and her fiancé, Matt, and we just faffed about in the leisure pool for an hour and a half, and I had a great laugh. I kept diving under the water and swimming after them and running after them and swimming through the currents and out of the currents.

We even got the chance to go to the outdoor area of the pool for a bit, despite the fact it was frickin’ freezing! But it was, as I said, a good laugh. Much more fun than just swimming backward and forwards for 40 minutes.

I’m not sure how much actual exercise I got done, but I was either treading water, chasing after them, or swimming – or at least moving – in the water the entire time, so who knows?

If I’m entirely honest, I couldn’t really care, because I had a good laugh.

I don’t have friends. It’s not often that I get to have a good laugh.

So thanks, Lorna and Matt. It was appreciated.

Weekly Weigh-In: July 5, 2010

29st 2lbs

-5lb (2.27kg) – 263lbs (119.29kg) to go

So I gained back the 2lbs that I lost last week. I’m going to blame my period, and the fact that I didn’t make it to the gym until Sunday because of aforementioned period.

Thankfully, my legs and ankles have stopped swelling to gargantuan proportions; my feet can fit back into my shoes again, and I don’t have to let my Nike trainers’ velcro straps all the way out any more. I consider this progress.

But I still gained those 2lbs, and so I’m kicking my own butt this week. I’ve gone to ASDA and bought a load of fruit to do me for the week:


(L-R): Scottish strawberries; Picota cherries; clementines; Braeburn apples and Cripps Pink apples.

I’m hoping that all the fruit will kick any sugar cravings in the nuts, because the cravings this past week were ridiculous. I gave in tonight and bought a bar of tablet, but that’s it.

Hopefully that 2lb will be gone – and hopefully another 1lb or so – by next week.

Say bye-bye!

In Which Fatso Is Bleeding To Death

I mentioned last time how I’d gotten my period.

Of course I still have my period. It feels like I have every period I haven’t had over the past year rolled into one big ball, including cramps. I am in so much pain it’s not funny; painkillers aren’t helping! Heat isn’t helping!

Of course, I know that the best thing I could do is go and do some exercise. The last time I had the sniff of a period, I went and exercised and the cramps went away like magic. I know I should go and exercise.

But to be perfectly honest, at the rate I’m bleeding out and soaking through Super Plus Tampax (current rate: 1 per 2 hours or less) I don’t want to risk being in the middle of a workout when my tampon starts to lose absorbency.

Too much information, sure, but argh, this is the crap I deal with as a woman.

I was going to go swimming, but again, there’s the problem with leakage. I don’t want to be in the middle of the pool when I suddenly start looking like I’m trying to turn the 25m pool into a literal red sea.

And it would happen to me. That’s the kind of luck I have.

So I’m going to go to the gym tomorrow and wear a towel and a tampon – belt and braces, if you will – and hope that I can get through a workout without passing out from the pain. Hopefully, by Sunday, it’ll be mostly gone.

And hopefully, by this time next month, my body will be over this whole, “Oh, you didn’t have a period for a year? HAVE TWELVE AT ONCE!” bullshit it’s pulling.

p.s. for whoever searched for “beginning yoga for fat girls”, can I suggest the book, MegaYoga, by Megan Garcia? It’s awesome. There’s also her DVD, Just My Size which is equally awesome.

Weekly Weigh-In: June 28, 2010

29st

-7lb (3.18kg) – 261lbs (118.39kg) to go

2lbs down is a good number. A round number, an even number. I can deal with a 2lb loss. It still leaves me 6lb away from 400lbs, 7lbs away from that high loss, but that’s me back to my first Silver 7™ so I don’t feel like a total cheater, I don’t feel like a scam.

I ate cheese today. For the first time in something like two years, I had a cheese and Branston pickle sandwich for my lunch, and it was lovely. It was, admittedly, 5 POINTS‘ worth of cheese, but it was really nice, a nice change. Won’t be doing it again any time soon. I’ve never had such an expensive sandwich before, I don’t think! Oh, my GOD. Not worth it at all, haha!

I was going to go the gym today, or go swimming, but to be honest, I’m in so much pain, I don’t know if I’ll be able to drag myself up out of my computer chair for much. I hurt all over. My hips hurt and my ovaries hurt – I’ve got my first proper, real period in almost a year and it feels like every cramp I didn’t have is hitting me all at once, and I’m very very tempted just to crawl back into bed.

I’m wondering, if I hadn’t had my period yesterday, would my weight loss have been bigger?

I suppose we’ll see next week.

If I haven’t bled to death or died of cramps by then.

In Which Fatso Has A Quiet Week

As the subject line says: it’s been a quiet week, huh?

To be honest, I sort of had a really bad week last week, as y’all could probably tell. This week, I’ve just been pretty chill. I didn’t get any more unpacking done because I don’t have, uh, any more storage to unpack anything to, so everything else is still sitting in boxes at the end of my bed, and I can deal with that until whenever. If I’m looking for something, at least I’ll know it’s in a box at the end of my bed.

It’s just a question of which box.

I got to go swimming on Thursday, and I went a bit earlier than usual, and it was quiet and quite nice, really. Got 45 minutes in, of which I was really only swimming properly for 30 minutes and paddling around for 15, trying to make my way around other swimmers who were just larking about.

Went to the gym up at Fairhill on Friday night for what may well have been my last time – although we’ve only moved five minutes up the road, it’s moved us closer to the Jock Stein Centre than Fairhill.

I was talking to Chris – one of the gym attendants – about this, lamenting the move because I’m quite fond of Fairhill. I like the Cybex Arc Trainer versus other elliptical machines. I like the staff. I like the Hur range of exercise equipment, none of which are mentioned on the Jock Stein page, and this will potentially limit me in what I can use, because if it’s back to the Pulse range or something else, it’s possible that the adduction/abduction machine will be the one with the pads at the knees:

instead of the non-restrictive ones with the pads BELOW the knees:

And the ones with the pads between the knees, I can’t use, because my stomach gets in the way. Like, I push the pads together, and my stomach gets caught. It’s painful and it’s embarrassing, and it’s frankly annoying, because all we did was move house.

Why isn’t the equipment standardised across the centres?! Augh.

So I have to go down to the Jock Stein Centre at some point this week, and see about getting a “refresher” in their gym, because it’s five minutes down the road.

Like I said, I’m loathe to leave Fairhill, because I’m fond of the place. Part of the reason I’ve stuck going to the gym is because of the awesome staff and the great, non-restrictive equipment.

But more importantly, after the two nights of exercise, I’ve felt that my mood has improved and that my ankles aren’t “gankles” as much.

I’ve Tracked everything – including the big “share pack” of Doritos I ate… which I never shared a single crumb of… – that’s passed my lips, and I’m feeling mildly confident that I’ve lost at least a pound or two this week.

But, as I said: mostly, I’ve just been chillaxing, and not freaking out. It’s made a nice change.